Sometimes being over 40 and playing video games can be problematic. At almost 43, I am apparently an old fart. I’m old fashioned, you see. When I enter a room to work with other people, I acknowledge them and, at the very least, say, “Hello!” So when I enter a dungeon with 3 to 7 random strangers, I greet them and expect them to greet me in return. However, this basic common courtesy is the exception and not the norm, and quite frankly, it REALLY pisses me off.

I don’t give a shit if you don’t speak a single word for the rest of the dungeon. At least say, “hi,” for fuck’s sake. And don’t give me the bullshit excuse about not having a keyboard. The word, “hi,” is two letters. You can use your controller for that or you can even make a macro that says hi in the chat channel.

Online video games, particularly cooperative ones, rely on people working together. Common courtesy and communication are vital for a team to be successful in any endeavor, whether in game or in real life.

So if you can’t even say hello at the start of a dungeon, you’re both lazy and disrespectful. You disrespect me and I’ll disrespect you right back. I know you’re in a rush and you want to get the damned thing over with as soon as humanly possible. I do, too! But you know what? I’m going to take my time. It’s a game, after all. Why should I hurry? You can run ahead, if you like, but I’m not going to save your ass. Why should I? You didn’t even acknowledge me when I walked in the room. As far as I’m concerned, I’m not even sure if you know I’m here. You can kick me out of the dungeon, too, if you want. No problem. I’m a tank. I don’t have to wait for queues. Ever. I’ll just get another group.



I’d hate to see what kind of person you are outside of the game. Do you even have a job? Or friends? If you’re like that in real life, I can guarantee that no one is going to want to be around you. People will rightly label you an asshole.

Respect is earned.



A Quick Update


I’m really having a rough time finding a balance between work, school, and my free time. Honestly, I think the problem is that I don’t really have any free time right now. However, my video games and my Twitch channel are really important to me, so I’m determined to MAKE time for them. I am going to have to start small, so for now, I’m going to commit to streaming once a week. I’ve updated my schedule page to reflect this. I’ve put “Maybe?” on Sundays because I’d really like to do more, but I can’t promise anything right now.

Between work, school, and the state of this country, I always feel so exhausted. It should come as no surprise that since I’m a non-white feminist, I am absolutely disgusted with the goings-on in the White House right now. So I need my virtual worlds where my actions affect the outcomes because I sure as hell feel pretty damned helpless right now.

Tonight I’ll be playing FFXIV. The Mhachi raids are on the agenda and anything else I can fit in before I have to go to sleep. I finally got MNK to 60, so now I’m working on SMN/SCH. My goal is to have everything at 60 by the time the Stormblood expansion releases. I’m at 16/23, so we’ll see how that goes…

2016 Was a Hell of a Year!

2016 was definitely a year of change. Major change. When I look at the world as a whole, much of that change has been negative. When I look at my own personal experiences, most of that change has been positive. Regardless of its impact, though, change is very difficult and extremely stressful. Oh, and did I mention exhausting?

The first half of the year or so was pretty steady for me. I was streaming on Twitch regularly and making steady, albeit small progress on my video game backlog. My son graduated from college and then around the end of summer, my universe got turned upside down. Most of it was good, honestly! But all at once? Oh man…

So earlier this year, I had decided to pursue my Master’s degree. I decided to apply to an MBA program since I’ve had over fifteen years of real life experience working in accounting and management. The school I chose had an Accounting MBA, so I’d be able to prepare for either the CPA or CMA exams with this program. I was accepted around the beginning of summer and while I knew that this would affect my streaming schedule, I would only be taking 2 classes per term, so I’d still be able to Twitch, just not quite as often.

But then around late August or early September, two things happened. First, my boss found a new job and we suddenly needed to find a new Controller asap. After discussing it with my boss and the president of the company, I was promoted from the Accounts Receivable and Payroll Clerk to the Controller of the whole company! I had a crash course in my new position over the course of about two weeks. Second, right around that same time, my husband’s older brother suddenly and unexpectedly passed away. And then a few weeks later, school started. I had one evening class and two independent study accounting courses. (The two accounting courses are required as a catch-up since I don’t have an undergraduate degree in accounting.)

So I was regularly working 12 hour days and coming in on the weekends to figure out my job, trying to support my husband after the loss of his second brother, and cramming school work in whenever I could. I didn’t pick up a game controller for months! I was completely exhausted and even when I had a few moments to myself, all I wanted to do was be a complete and total vegetable. I didn’t want to hang out with anyone. Even gaming felt like too much work!

In October, my husband and I went to the Final Fantasy XIV Fan Festival in Las Vegas. I would love to tell you that it was awesome, but it wasn’t. By this point, I hadn’t logged into the game in about a month, so I felt disconnected from it. I know that if I wasn’t completely drained, standing in endless lines and dealing with the fact that it was rather disorganized probably wouldn’t have bothered me as much. I was really happy to be present for the announcements of new game features, of course. And the two concerts were amazing! But overall, the best part of that trip was the fact that I wasn’t at school or work. I spent one full day just lying in bed in the hotel doing absofucking nothing and it was amazing. XD


If you look carefully, you can see that Koji Fox photo-bombed our Cactuar Server group photo! ❤ He’s wearing the black hat, holding the purple bahamut plushie kind of in the middle!


Someone in the Cactuar Server Facebook group designed a t-shirt for Fanfest, so we had shirts printed with our character and Free Company name.


LOL My husband wearing a Horde World of Warcraft shirt while carrying his bag of FFXIV swag. XD


Signing the Cactuar wall 🙂


Here we are! Hatsumi Mitsuha and Severus Snape!

Other cool things we did in Las Vegas included eating and drinking a LOT of fabulous food and checking out the Bodies exhibit.


All wines should come in a half bottle.


This club sandwich was HUGE!



What better part of the Bodies exhibit than the digestive system? I love to eat and thank goodness for these organs! XD

By around election day, my life was starting to calm down somewhat. I was no longer going into the office every weekend and instead of leaving at 8 or 9 at night, I was leaving between 5 and 6. However, I had fallen VERY behind in my two accounting classes. I had managed to keep up with the evening class since it only met once a week, thank goodness, but I suddenly found myself with almost an entire semester’s worth of work that I needed to complete for two classes in less than a month! When I explained my perfect storm of circumstances, my professor was very understanding. He gave me extensions on all the homework and we scheduled the exams throughout December and the first week of January. (As of right now, all I need to complete are the two final exams. Whew!)


Here’s a little stack I created while cleaning house of games that I haven’t even OPENED yet!


Haven’t opened this up yet, either…


I started this, but haven’t played more than the first little tutorial mission thing. It’s so kawaii! I love it!


I’m playing Moon. My husband is playing Sun.


Fancy shmancy Collector’s Edition of FFXV on XBOX One, which I didn’t really open. The PS4 one was already sold out and I wanted to play it on PS4, so I just bought a Day One version of whatever of the PS4 version. Square Enix loves consumers like me. 😛

Unfortunately, I still didn’t really have any time to play my video games. It didn’t keep me from buying them, though! But now my backlog is even WORSE! I’m also trying to catch up in Final Fantasy XIV, but my intense fear of the Duty Finder is making this quite difficult. I’m looking forward to patch 3.5 because we’ll be able to create cross-server parties. So maybe I can get my friends on other servers to help me. Although honestly, I really just need to develop thicker skin and stop freaking out whenever I have to play with strangers… So if anyone wants to help me, I still need to clear Sophia Normal and the current Alexander Normal stuff. 😀


Eorzea is home to some of the biggest cocks…

In other FFXIV news, my son started playing again! He’s level 37 on his highest job right now, so I’m working on helping him level and gear up. It’s a bit slow going since he’s in New York and I’m in Hawaii, so we don’t get to play together as much as I’d like and he doesn’t seem to like playing by himself. I keep bugging him, though, to get his questing done so that we can do group content whenever we’re online together.

I did start playing a few games during the last few months, although I haven’t made much progress yet. Pokemon Moon and Final Fantasy XV have gotten the most of my attention. I’m hoping that I’ll finally finish a Pokemon game for once. I’ve bought every Pokemon game since Diamond & Pearl, but I’ve yet to actually FINISH one. I can’t resist this new one, though, because of all the Hawaii references. I’m almost done with the 2nd island challenge. In Final Fantasy XV, I’m on Chapter 3. I am REALLY enjoying FFXV, although the battle system, even with Wait Mode, is somewhat challenging to me. The targeting system is giving me trouble. Sometimes I’m COMPLETELY CERTAIN that I’ve locked on to a specific enemy, but nope! I go warping in some completely different direction!


PSVR! (Sorry, my house is a mess!)

The other cool gaming thing I tried recently is the Playstation VR. Sadly, it makes me motion sick if I play games with a lot of movement or if I play for longer than about 15-20 minutes at a time. The demo I enjoyed the most was the Thumper VR demo, but since I can’t even get through the demo song without feeling like I’m going to die, I didn’t buy it. I DID buy Harmonix Music VR and Perfect. Neither of those is a game, per se, but they are enjoyable virtual reality experiences that I can have without losing my lunch. I particularly enjoy Perfect because it’s beautiful and relaxing. It’s exactly what I wanted from a virtual reality experience. I love being able to sit near a crackling fire and throw snowballs.

So what can you expect from me during 2017? Starting sometime in the second half of January, I am planning on returning to Twitch. I haven’t nailed down a schedule yet, but it will probably be only two or three times a week. I’m also hoping to participate in a video game music podcast with a friend of mine starting this year. When that takes off, I’ll be sure to link it! My goal for 2017 is to play a non-FFXIV game for at least one hour per day. This doesn’t sound like much, but I figure it will help me slowly work through some of my backlog. I’m also hoping to post here once a week, listing what games I’ve bought or played. You know, to try and hold myself accountable. We’ll see how I do. I’m not optimistic. I’m terrible at this kind of thing! LOL

In any case, I apologize for the length of this post. I hope everyone has a great 2017! Happy New Year!

Still Figuring Things Out

I apologize for the radio silence lately. I’m still trying to come up with a good plan for coordinating my Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, blog, and Twitch. When I decided to start streaming video games on Twitch, I honestly didn’t think I was going to enjoy it as much as I do! So I’m motivated to actually create a community for my channel, even if it’s really small and to do that, I need to be more coordinated and organized.

In the meantime, here are some screenshots from Final Fantasy XIV:


I got the Calofisteri minion from the last boss of The Weeping City of Mhach. She’s so adorable and she juggles her little green balls periodically. I love minions in this game. I’m still having trouble with that last boss, though. I need to see if I can find better explanations of her attacks. All the other bosses in this raid are easy provided that everyone knows and follows mechanics.


My husband made the Mhachi Coffin for the house. You can sleep in it and close the lid. It’s currently in the center of the grand stairwell surrounded by vases with black roses. The music we have playing in the house is from The Tam-Tara Deepcroft. We’re trying to make a haunted house, I think.


Speaking of our house, we finally finished the exterior. It’s the Large Arms Supplier’s Wall and we dyed it purple. It took a LOT of materials to build, although it wasn’t particularly difficult. Just time consuming. Harvesting hundreds and hundreds of pieces of ore and wood gets tiresome!


I forgot to take a picture of our whole yard. Mirra did an awesome job making it beautiful. Here’s a shot of me napping in the rain on the Oriental Bench, which we jokingly call the Oriental Bus Stop. I’ll try to remember to take a picture of the whole yard tonight and share it in a future post. I really like how serene and inviting the outside of our house looks. Then when you go inside, it’s haunted! Hah!


I’m making friends! The first image shows Mirra and I waiting with our new friend, Alte, for Snape after he disconnected during a thunderstorm. The second is of me sitting with Mor while Snape looks on… Wonder if he’s jealous? Haha! Mor is so cute! ^_^ You can kinda see how our yard is set up from this picture, but I still plan on taking a shot of the whole thing.


The Yo-Kai Watch collaboration started this week! It is REALLY grindy and annoying, but I want them ALL. All the minions. All the weapons. Thankfully, the event is going on until October 3rd. If I had to cram all this FATE farming into two weeks, I think I’d lose my fucking marbles. Some people are already done with it, of course.




So far I’ve only gotten one of the weapons. There’s a weapon for each job. So bright and colorful! I love it!

Tonight on Twitch I’m hoping to do more Palace of the Dead and FATE grinding for Yo-Kai weapons. Come by and say hello!

  • h4tsum1

Some Random Things

I guess I need to start writing blog posts on the weekend and then scheduling them throughout the week. The biggest bummer about that is the fact that it won’t let me sound off on THAT DAY’s game news. I’ve come up with somewhat of a solution, though. I created a Facebook page for my Twitch persona. I had previously shared video game news posts on my personal page and it was probably a bit spammy for my non-gamer friends. So if you LIKE me on Facebook, you can get daily posts about what game news I’m excited about. Check it out! It’s also another way to interact with me besides chatting with me on Twitch or commenting here. (Please note: If you’re a dick or abusive, I have no compunctions about blocking you.)


There’s a lot going on in the world right now. (It seems like my news feeds are either about violence or Pokémon Go.) I recently posted on Facebook that I sometimes feel like I want to spend so much time in virtual video game worlds because there is the illusion that I’m actually making a difference there unlike in the real world. And even though I DO spend a lot of time playing games, that only serves as a temporary distraction from the pain, fear, and anger I feel when I read about the latest horrible thing that happens in the real world. Some people may be able to compartmentalize those feelings since the events don’t directly affect them, but I am not one of those people. Human beings have so much potential for greatness and every time they do something terrible, I become disappointed in much the same way as a parent does when their child fucks up.

So lately my mood has been kinda crappy. I try very hard not to take it out on other people, but I’m only human and I’m not perfect. You could tell me that I shouldn’t let it get to me so much, but I’d have to tell you that you’re wrong. More people SHOULD get this upset. Then maybe we’d start treating each other better and doing something about all the bullshit that’s going on out there. Accuse me of being some kind of idealistic hippy if you want, but that’s how I feel.

So I apologize if I sometimes just lose my cool on stream. Twitch has this great way of making me feel better when I’m down, even if barely anyone is watching. I try really hard to be friendly and welcoming to everyone who visits and hangs out. 😀


Final Fantasy XIV released Patch 3.35 yesterday and with it came The Palace of the Dead, a roguelike dungeon that can be done with 1 to 4 people. Regardless of your level outside of the dungeon, you start at level 1 and it ignores all stats from gear and food, I believe. Every ten floors rewards you with either experience OUTSIDE the dungeon or tomestones, depending on your outside level. You can also save your progress at this time. You are given a weapon and gear that can only be used inside the PotD that levels up as you progress. Once you’ve maxed those out, you can obtain an item level 235 weapon to use OUTSIDE of the dungeon. By completing all 50 floors, you receive an item that can be traded in towards minions and a new mount.

After doing our weekly Wiping City of Salt last night (and my god it lived up to its name last night!), Mirra, Snape, and I decided to try out the new dungeon. Since we were just checking it out, we decided to go in on level 60 jobs. We successfully beat the first 10 floors, but then died to the boss on the 20th floor, so our progress was reset to the 10th. By this time, it was already late, so I did my Moogle dailies, gathered a map, and then went back into the PotD solo as a Bard to see what kind of experience I would get. Well, I didn’t even clear the first 10 floors, so I got nothin’! But I definitely got a good feel for how this new dungeon works.


Of course, I also really like playing roguelikes. Every time I hear someone complain about something in there, I want to reply, “Uhhh… It’s a roguelike. You’ve played one before, right?” Every floor, I’m confronted with the question, “Do I just get to the next floor once I unlock the door? Or should I risk it and see if there’s some awesome treasure in one of the rooms I haven’t explored yet?” There could be traps or harder monsters. Should I risk it? I usually regret it when I do. You never know what you’re going to get. That’s part of the fun. Yes, it’s repetitive, but if you don’t take the opportunity to level up or increase your gear, you could be screwed later on. So if you like games like .hack, Torneko, Dark Cloud, or Chocobo’s Dungeon, you should give PotD a shot.

While we were playing, time was just zooming by. To me, that’s a great indication that something is fun. Let’s just hope I get further in the PotD than I usually do when I play roguelikes outside of FFXIV… LOL XD


Tonight on Twitch we’ll be doing Dragonskin maps with the hope of diving into the Aquapolis and then doing more Palace of the Dead. I think we’re going to reset our progress and start over with different classes. One of the things I really like about this system is that it will give me an opportunity to better learn the class I’m playing. Since I have to start at level one, I don’t get overwhelmed with abilities. Last night I played as PLD (my main), but I think I’ll switch to WAR so I can get better at using WAR abilities. Come hang out!

  • h4tsum1

Some Final Fantasy XIV Screenshots

I need to figure out a better way to budget my time. Streaming 5-6 nights a week while working a full time job doesn’t leave a lot of extra time to write blog posts. Even this one is going to be pathetically short. There will be pictures, though. People like pictures, right? 😉

With the release of patch 3.3, I’ve been busy with all the new content: A new relic grinding step, new dungeons, a new 24-man raid, crafting, Moogle dailies, the Aquapolis… So much to do, so little time!


I always love the beautiful detail in this game. This view is from one of the new dungeons, Hullbreaker Isle (Hard). Such a lovely sunset. And here’s another random picture I took that I thought was pretty:


One of the things we’ve spent a lot of time doing is Dragonskin maps. Each map has a chance to spawn a portal to a treasure hunting dungeon, called The Aquapolis. Once inside, you fight all the enemies in a room and then you can choose between two doors. One will take you to the next level. One will kick you out of the dungeon. It is purely RNG. And RNG really hates me. We did about 35 maps and went into the Aquapolis around 25 times before we finally got to the end of the dungeon. (There are 7 rooms.) Most of the time, we didn’t even get past room 3.


Honestly, the Aquapolis was becoming very UN-fun because we kept getting kicked out so early. We finally reached the end ONCE. It was VERY satisfying. We now just do one map each per day, so as not to get burnt out. Honestly, I think part of our problem was that we had amassed a LOT of maps so we were doing the same thing over and over again with little reward. Not smart.


The other thing I’ve been spending lots of time on is crafting and beastman dailies. I bought the Blue Scrip crafting sets for my three specialists, Blacksmith, Armorer, and Goldsmith. (I didn’t buy the gloves since I already bought Ironworks gloves, which are better when fully melded with materia.) I forgot to take a picture of Armorer, but here are Blacksmith and Goldsmith.


I’m rank 6 with the Moogles (out of 8), so I was able to buy my cute Moogle slippers.


And speaking of me looking ridiculous, I bought a $20 PSN card so I could get the summer freebie items. This is why Femroes shouldn’t wear the maid outfit. I look absolutely silly:


In other news, I finally got past the Riku fight in Kingdom Hearts 1.5 Remix last night. Man, that was tough. At least now I can continue the game!

Tonight on Twitch I’ll be playing FFXIV, doing crafting, dailies, and whatever else. Come by and say hi! 🙂

  • h4tsum1

Final Fantasy XIV Fan Festival 2016!


Assuming I can figure out how to afford airfare, my husband and I are going to this year’s FFXIV FanFest! I am so excited! 😀

The last time I went to Las Vegas was five years ago for a Star Trek convention. Being surrounded by other people who are into the same stuff as you is one of the best things ever. I imagine that this is going to be even better because I will be able to meet people that I actually interact with in person.

My very first MMO was the original EverQuest. I began playing sometime during the Kunark expansion in 2000. I had real life friends that I played with and we used to have LAN parties. In addition to playing online together, I’d lug my whole computer to someone’s house and we’d play together, still online, but in the same room. Then we’d usually go out for Zippy’s or some other food late at night. We’d sit around the table and talk about the adventures we just  had.

When I played World of Warcraft with a big group of real life friends, we’d play online and then meet up in person once in while to hang out, eat, drink, and talk about our adventures.

Far fewer of my real life friends play Final Fantasy XIV, so I don’t get to do this quite as much. I still go out and hang out with my husband and my really good friend, though, and we sit around a table, eat, drink, and talk about our adventures.

Do you see a theme here?

I don’t know if it’s because I’m older, but there’s something really awesome about being able to hang out with the people you play with online in real life. I’ve made quite a few friends on Cactuar and I’m always so disappointed that I can’t just go out for a drink or something with them after a few hours of fighting monsters. I’m not sure if any of my online friends are going, but I’m looking forward to meeting more people from my server, anyway. More people to adventure with! Even meeting people who AREN’T on my server will be awesome because we’ll all have a shared world with experiences that we can share without someone looking at us like we’re speaking some obscure foreign language. Seriously, I CAN’T WAIT!

In other news, it seems that Square Enix has decided that Wednesday nights are a good night for maintenance when they decide to have it, so I’m going to switch my Twitch schedule to play whatever my backlog game is on Wednesday nights instead of Monday nights.

I didn’t stream last night because I fell down and bashed my knees and hands on concrete yesterday, so I just vegged out on the couch with ice packs last night before going to bed early. I felt like such an old lady! Oh well, I’m a bit stiff and sore today, but I’ll definitely be streaming. I need my weekly Wiping City of Salt clear… 😛

Stop by and say hi!

  • h4tsum1